Life's little moments leave lasting memories

Someone rightly said "Life Is Not Measured By the Number of Breaths We Take, But By the Moments That Take Our Breath Away". These are the best gifts ever!

I will keep adding these moments here as I remember them....

Mummy's proud face as I enter home with the unexpected.

Jeje waiting at the gate for me as I return from school. And does a little dance as he sees something in my hands.

Papa mummy standing up outside the consulate at Kolkata. Seeing a nod and a faint smile on my face, the both look up at the sky and breathe a sigh of relief. 

Masi crying in joy after hearing my ICSE results.

Suju scolding me for my erratic study habits and pepping me up , demanding much more!

My school friends and teachers cheering me on as I walk over to the stage.

A hello card following a train journey asking about how my TOEFL went.

A full moon evening when it's time to leave for Houston and Siva assures me everything will be alright.

Sonu's priceless smile when she wakes up....

and so many more ...Jejema, Mamu, Mai, Lili apa, Mamuni, ... and so many others who have filled my life with love and laughter. Thank you so much. I love you all.

Mother's Day 2017

On the occasion of Mother's Day this year I want to share with you the transcript of my speech at Toastmasters.

They say you didn't know what you'd got until it's gone but the truth is you probably did... you just never thought you'd lose it.” In the spirit of mother's day, Subhadra will give her first speech post motherhood and share with you her recent tryst with life and how it has transformed her.

March 10th, 2016-a day that I’ll never forget. I was rushing  out for the final dance rehearsal.. As soon as I got behind the wheel, I got a call. It was from India. At 1:30 am ? Well I found out why …my mother had a massive heart attack-her first one and she had passed away.

At that very my life came to a screeching halt. I had talked to mom earlier that week She was happy , she sounded healthy,  she was playful-She and my dad had wired me a surprise birthday gift. My brain was not able to make sense of the news, my heart was not willing to accept it-but that said: nothing  would have prepared me for that moment.

Fellow toastmasters, if you have ever had the misfortune of experiencing an upheaval, you know what I am talking about. The heart wrenching feeling of losing your most loved one, the sense of irreplaceable loss, the isolation, the unbearable helplessness and the pervasiveness of it all.

And when you think you are done with your share of misery and convinced nothing worse can happen, destiny begs to differ. Because destiny has a cruel way of letting you know that you aren’t just yet. As our family was still grappling to come in terms with my mom’s loss, my dad was diagnosed with stage IV cancer last year and before we even got a chance to let that news sink in, he passed away the very same week. Dear friends, when the world was celebrating this past Christmas, I was holding on to the last thread of hope that may be my father will come out of it. He didn’t.

Looking back now, I ask myself how often did I tell my parents I loved them, I wonder did they know how much they meant to me. I sincerely hope they did. Because ever since I have felt this overwhelming sense of love and gratitude for them but no way to express it. Now time waits for none-it has moved on but I still miss the encouragement every time I feel down, the guidance when I feel lost, the joy in my celebrations and that trusting figure who puts me in my place.

True indeed that destiny snatched from me the two most important people in my life. And just when I thought it’s all over and world is never going to the same anymore, the same destiny returned and gifted the two most important people back in my life-my husband and my daughter -they brought back in my life such love and laughter again.

These past few years have taught me a few lessons that I want to share with you-its been tough on me but has made me a tougher person, been brutal to me but has taught me gratitude-am so grateful for my family, grateful for the good health and the opportunities that Life gave me. And just when life had lost its meaning, I realized true meaning of life-by showering your love and support for your loved ones, by making a difference in the lives of those who need you and by living your life with intention. Finally the tragedy has taught me the secret to happiness: happiness is how you experience not just the big moments but all those little moments that rarely get their due credit. So celebrate the little moments because these are what life is made of.

Hope my life’s story is yet another reminder to you all to cherish your past and relish your present with your loved ones, thank more, smile more, love more and dream a little more.

Wishing a very happy birthday to dearest Aai

We welcomed our baby girl on September 17th, 2016. We named this precious angel Sonita in the memory of another precious angel-Sabita, our dear mom,. Sonita means young Sun (and wisdom in Greek). Since Sabita means Sun, we all agreed what better way to name the baby after her grandma than call her the young sun.

Today Sonu (as we lovingly call her) wishes her Aai  a very happy birthday for the very first time in her life. She misses the love and warmth she never got a chance to experience in the arms of her dear grandmother. But like us, she also knows that she will always have you watching over her-for now and for ever more.

We miss you and your loving presence in our lives. Love you always. Happy Birthday Mummy.

Dear mummy,
I was fortunate enough to be able be there for your 3rd year Shraddhanjali. I still miss you terribly ,but can remember it as if it was yesterday. Every room is stamped with your memories. Surama aunty was there and she said it almost feels as if your mom is still with us. You will always be there as an integral part of my heart ,my soul my very being.Rest in peace mummy in your heavenly abode.

Love you always.
Your suju

Maha Shiv Ratri, March 7th, 2016

Mummy's 3-year shraddha puja on Shiv Ratri, 2016

Dear mummy, I know you are watching over us from up there. May you keep smiling always. Love, Kunu

Happy Birthday to my dearest mom!

--Love you, miss you and will always be grateful to this day when you were bestowed on Earth.

Happy Birthday mummy!

Shiva Ratri - Febrauary 17th, 2015

We observed Mummy's third Shraddha function today at Krushna Madhupuri, Bhubaneswar. I couldn't travel to India as I didn't get my travel document in time. I am glad that Suju & Sumit were able to make it at such short notice. Thanks to all our near and dear ones who showed up to be part of  the Puja & the Prasad that followed. I did my own small puja in Natick before leaving for work.

Dear mummy, this is a very special year for me and we all miss your presence even more so. It would be so much more joyous if the entire family were together because without you it's not complete. I still take consolation in the fact that although you are physically not here, you are watching over all of us with your usual smile. I wore your last gift to me-a red churidaar which I had saved for a very special occasion since then.

We miss you Mummy. And we love you a lot!!! 

Mothers Day - May 11th, 2014

As yet another year passes by, I fondly remember my mother and all that she continues to stand for me. A tribute to the woman who taught me what Love is.

LOVE

What’s a Life that hasn't experienced Love!

Love that surpasses everything. Love-

Whose gentle touch heals all pain

Whose keen ears hear words unspoken

Whose radiant smile shines away darkness

Whose warm eyes dispel any coldness

Whose presence brings a  breath of fresh air in our world.      

Indeed! What’s in a world with no love to have and hold

A love with power like nothing you have felt or seen

A love which stands with you through thick and thin.

Oh Lord, today as I stand before you in prayer 

I ask misery rather consume me than touch her.

I pray to the Almighty as I see Love's Light shine

Let all my joy be hers, let all her sorrow be mine!

Happy New Year Mama

To the most amazing, adorable and sweetest soul on Earth and in Heaven. 

Every passing day as I continue to meet more and more people, I realize what a wonderful human being you were. I am privileged to have had your love and attention.

May your soul rest in eternal peace.

Happy Birthday to you

Mummy at home cutting her birthday cake (sent by us)

Dear Mummy. This is a day of celebration for us. If it wasn't for this day, you wouldn't be in our lives, in fact we wouldn't be in ours. Wherever you are, wish you many many happy returns of the day from all of us. May your lovely soul rest in peace. We love you.  As always, since you love roses, Suju and I  sent you birthday wishes from here. Papa has put them next to your samadhi and also on your desk in the clinic.

Mummy with Chotda (her youngest brother)

I was trying to find the audio cassette that I had gifted you on your birthday years ago. The first song was a birthday song from an old movie. You were so ecstatic to hear me sing that song "Happy Birthday" for you; I could almost feel you shining with joy. I couldn't find that but I am recording that again for you this morning. Have a cold today: will try to do a better job next time.:-) I know you are around and you are watching over us.

A Love That Outlives Life

Six months have passed since you left a void in our lives. We still miss you Mummy in our every conversation: we fondly remember our time together- the laughter, the discipline, the challenges, the ambition, and so much more.

Sometimes I wish you were still a phone call away, to lend an ear or give advice. Our world is shaken by a truth so irreversible and a loss so irreplaceable; yet, we strengthen our resolve to not let this grief overcome us. The life that you bestowed on us, the love that you showered on us, the legacy that you left with us, that should not go in vain during these tough times.

We refuse to let this consume us. We are determined to rise above it and live all over again. And shine. This Life is your precious gift to us.  What we do with it will be our gift back to you. We love you very much.

World of Music and Dance

In the Toastmasters meeting at Mathworks last week, one of the speakers talked about her recent introduction to classical music. Then she went on to demonstrate with graphs and equations, the science behind music- the pitch, amplitude and frequency. I was enthralled by the speech to say the least. I have always relished such amalgamations-music and technology, athletics and nutrition, philanthropy and capitalism,  better known in recent times as philanthrocapitalism.

Coming back to music, it's one of my passions, dance following a close second. Even during the toughest of time, if I close my eyes and experience music, everything feels okay-whenever I lose myself in music, be it in solitude or in front of an audience, there is hardly any occasion when I don't feel the divine presence and the reminisce of the time when my mom gently prodded me along my journey into the realm of music.

My mother  introduced me to Odishi Sangeet through my first guru (and most revered teacher) Ms Binapani Nayak. Miss as I addressed her fondly had first met Mummy in Capital Hospital when she had gone for a Tonsilitis consultation. When my mother learned that her patient was a music veteran and also gave group classes, she invited her to our place with the hope that Miss would agree to give me private training which she did later.  And so began my discovery of the world of sounds.

Mummy in the center- the tallest girl among the kids

Starting out, I wonder whether I had any artistic talent or discipline-it was probably my mom's genes and surely her dedication that inspired me to persevere. I remember when initially I was wary about starting music classes, my parents tried to allure me: they took out a medal that Mummy had won in her younger days. I don't recall the exact nature of the award. Although I succinctly remember being awed by the medal and the fact that it had "Sabita Mitra" inscribed in gold.  Mummy started learning Odishi Classical dance from Late Kelucharan Mahapatra in Kala Vikas Kendra.

I believe somewhere along the course of life, either during med school or after marriage, she stopped pursuing her dance aspirations. Nevertheless, she wanted the legacy to continue through me. Besides, we had just relocated from Algeria. She  hoped I experienced our culture through the arts. I joined Stewart school and was trying to settle into my new environment. So it would be fair to say that I started out learning music as early as I began formal education. Although I was a shy kid, looking back now I wonder how did I end up in so many stage performances and competitions, in both music and dance, starting from annual functions in school to Suchana Bhawan to Rabindra Mandap. Not too hard to surmise who tricked me into it, is it?  Years have passed by since then-the groups, the audience  and location continue to change- the only constant all along has been my mother and her encouraging presence!

MY BELOVED PISHI

Ranu Pishi in front of Taj Mahal

My Choto Pishi was my friend, aunt and also like a mom for years, and to know that she is gone brings both a sense of shock and a profound sadness - shock that someone so brilliantly alive can disappear so suddenly, and sadness to know that aunt's unique spirit and energy will no longer be part of my life and no longer be working its magic in the world at large.

I still feel a warmth around me like her presence is so near, and I close my eyes to visualize her face like she were here. I will treasure and endure all the best times we spent together as they are locked inside my heart.

Something special for you রানু  পিসি ..........

I close my eyes as I wipe a tear,

All of your love I will always hold near.

When my time comes..............

I will meet you in heaven!

I LOVE AND MISS YOU!

                                                                                                            

                                                                                                Sona

In Memory of my Sister

If there is true love in this world, then it is this-my little sister -it is this!

Me and Ranu on her birthday at Mejda's (Chandrasekharpur)

My sweet sister, my dearest Ranu, you are in Heaven now but you are still alive in the sweet memories of my Life. You are always in my mind as if you never left.  And you will continue to stay in my heart like a lotus flower forever until we meet again.

By now, you probably have met Didi, our elder sister. And I have full faith that one day we three sisters will reunite in Heaven.  Meanwhile, I know you are my guardian angels and that you shine through the stars in the sky as you watch over all of us.

-Chotdi (Samira Dutt)

In memory of a good friend who is also the wife of my Best friend.

" It is the will of God and Nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside, when the sole is to enter in to real life, 'Its rather an embryo state, a preparation for living, Men and women are not completely born until they be dead: Why then should we grieve that a new child is born among the Immortals? "Benjamin Franklin.

Krushna Madhupuri,  Bhubaneswar

We miss you Ranu Pishi

Uma Bhawan, Dussehra, 2012 -With Ranu Pishi & Pisa Babu

Mitra family-outside Mayfair Hotel, Bhubaneswar

Our affectionate sister

"Borda, Aami jaachi"...

Sabita between her two big brothers

"Brother, I will take leave now"-These were Ranu's last words before she left Uma Bhawan, her maiden home. She bid farewell saying those three words.

Ranu and I had a very close bond. She used to take care of me, frequently calling and checking on how I was doing. Although I was the elder brother, I used to constantly look up to her for her advice starting from health to nutrition to any medical consultation. In spite of her schedule, she never failed to stop by and check up on my failing health. Her advice was so invaluable to me.

The three Mitra brothers

I fondly remember that last evening. Ranu stopped by our house. She had brought pomegranate, my favorite fruit. She said, "Borda, I have got Bedanda for you". She affectionately cut it open and offered it to me. As I had it, little did I know that it was the last time I will be having the fruit from my sister's hands. The next morning I was told that she is no more. Only her memories will stay with me.

-Dr. Ashamukul Mitra

Mother, doctor, wife

MBBS Graduation

I came across an interesting article by J. A. Hammond on the NCBI website. The title is "Mother, doctor, wife". Hammond talks about how women physicians often play a triple role: mother, doctor, and wife and how these individuals need to strive so much harder if they wish to make each role fulfilling and wish to balance their career and personal life. I found the read a page-turner because it resonated so well.


Looking back at my mom's life, not only was she all that but so much more: a loving and caring daughter, daughter-in-law, sister and aunt. Moreover, she took on these roles voluntarily and happily. Why I decided to write about this today is because I have been down with fever and sore throat since the past few days. As I open my medicine box (so meticulously packed by my parents from my India trips). Each medicine is labeled with symptoms and dosage/prescription. I fondly remember when I fell ill, mummy would make delicious tomato and chicken soups with bread croutons. Her hand on my forehead was such a magical feeling! 


I remember my mom being one of the first people next to relatives' side when they were going through a medical ailment, during deliveries or even at some's death bed The only thing that saddens me is we were not

With Minister of Health, Algeria

not beside her when she breathed her last. Although friends and family ask us to take consolation in the fact that she had such a sudden and painless death. She was at her clinic even a few hours before, seeing patients. Later when one of those patients came for a follow-up checkup, he was shocked to hear about her demise. He had brought sweets to express his gratitude that he was already cured in his first visit. He said that mom was the number one ENT surgeon in foreign body extraction in the area. I felt happy for her:that she managed not only to get a grip back but also  excel in her profession in spite of making our betterment her topmost priority in life. I am so proud of you mom.

My parents met during the third year of med school (MBBS) in SCB Medical College, the premier institute of the state. Later they did their post graduation (MS) from PMCH (Patna Medical College and Hospital) in their respective specialities. My father went for PG first. My mom continued to work as a doctor during that  year and sponsored his education. The following year, she joined PG herself on a DGHS (Director General Health Services) scholarship funded by Goverment of India. Following their specialization, they went on a foreign assignment to Algeria. Mom joined as ENT specialist and father as an Orthopedic specialist. Although they both became very popular in the hospital there they  believed that they learned a lot professionally while working alongside world renowned surgeons who also happened to be posted around the same time. I have very nice memories from my childhood there. Our neighbors and family friends were extremely warm and hospitable people.

Papa and Mummy with their colleagues

After my parents returned to India in the late eighties, they joined Capital Hospital, Bhubaneswar. Around this time, although my mother was approved for the specialist position, she forwent that and instead went with the assistant surgeon position. She didn't accept the specialist opportunity for the next decade or so, until I was in college. She chose to take this professional setback so that she could focus on my education. I believe she did a phenomenal job in that she not only was instrumental in helping me settle into the new academic environment but went above and beyond to ensure I was exposed to academics, music, arts, you name it. I owe everything I have learnt to her.

After I got accepted into engineering, she brought her focus back to her career. My father also helped her pick up where she left, e.g. he constantly encouraged and inspired her to expand her experience with different procedures, surgeries, etc. They both retired as Head of Department in the ENT and Orthopedic Division of the state hospital. They took voluntary retirement so that they could focus full-time in the private practice they had been running since years by then. Following Mummy's death, Papa still keeps himself engaged in the same clinic, which they both passionately established and grew during their life time.

A beautiful message from a loving niece

From our niece, Lily (Sunita Mahanti). Posting on her behalf.

Dear Kunu
Life is made of moments: small pieces of silver amid long stretches of gravel. Be happy as that is what Sabita khudi would always have wanted for her adorable daughters. She was an inherently good soul who not only looked at all the good in the world but also gave it back because she believed in it passionately. She gave her values and intrinsic goodness as a legacy to both of you. It is for you to carry forward her values and spread love around. 

Sabita Khudi with Mummy and other relatives

Parents always try to live their dreams through their children. You have already proved your mettle. It is now for you to tap your spiritual quotient and spread love and happiness around. In spending time with senior citizens you have given yourself a chance to give back the good in the world Sabita khudi so cherished. Without the inner satisfaction that comes with giving, our accomplishments will be nothing more than the stuff in resumes. 
 
With the passing away of a wonderful soul, you have learnt something enduring about life: that it is glorious, and we should never take it for granted. Keep up the good work my child. We should count our blessings that our lives have been touched by Jeje and Sabita khudi.She will always hold a very special place in my heart and I loved her dearly. Draw solace and strength from the fact that you are living out her dreams and her angelic soul is looking down at you from the Heavens.
Love always my child
-Lily apa.